I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
