But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize