I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize