if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
