Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
