That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
