idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize