): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
