My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
pray to the hookup gods
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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