If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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