she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
