so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize