Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
