sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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