Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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