They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
