I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
