Are we in a gay sports bar?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
