Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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