The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
