We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
