I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
