So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
