break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
