Kiss
Puke
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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