Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
