He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
