I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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