Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
