They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
that is very illegal...i love you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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