ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize