So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
