Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
