all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He did a backflip because drugs
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