We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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