She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
