We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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