i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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