K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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