dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
