i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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