I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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