Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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