That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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