Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
