she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
