I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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