I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Alive.
So much puke
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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