I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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