TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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