dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hippo gnu deer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
