did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize