remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
