You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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