"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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