Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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