thus making me awesome and them whores
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
