omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
