But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
