Betty ford says i'm here all night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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